NatUre heAls..!! (wAy to ShiV saMunDaram) ~ paRt-II

“Oops! I did it again…. I played with your heart… Gotta lost in the game…

Oops! You think I’m in love… & I’m sent from above… I’m not that innocent!”  ~ the alarm tune rang @ 5:00am.

Guessing that when was the last time I woke-up so early at IBA (Indus Business Academy, Bangalore), suddenly another tune rang ~ “Sweety sweety sweety, tera pyar chahida…” Shit man! Hate that tune.

You might be thinking ‘What all crap is that!’ But the simplest crap out of these super exotic tunes was to wake-up early… And that too without any hesitation to leave the bed early..

But who cares when people around considers you lazy!  Be boldly resistant.. And let the shit flow! I mean let the resistivity flow (sleep chill!).

So, I put off my alarm, and slept again.

“Wake-up!”

“5 mins..”

“From the last 1.5 hours, I’ve been waiting for that ‘5 mins’ to over! Wake-up, please!”

“Last 5 mins..”

(After 30 minutes)

“Now please wake-up..”

“Last 5 mins..”

“What! Come again..”

“Okay! Last-est 5 minutes!”

“Go to hell..”

“Hell is full… So, I’m back!”

“Grrrrr… Look at you! Do you have any idea what’s the time now?”

“…….”

“Hello…” And she kicked & jumped on my bed and started pulling my hands upward, like a kid.

“Okay! See I’m up.. Now, stop it!”

I saw the akkas’ (hostel maids) were cleaning stuffs outside, from my door. I realized, oops it’s late! And asked hesitantly,

“What’s the time by-the-way?”

“Its 7:00am, Idiot!” And she got busy fixing her make-up.

My room was literally a small beauty-parlor. And the sole proprietor-cum-stylist of that was my roomie. She loved to give free services to anyone at any time. Someday, she will be a great ‘social-(parlor)-worker’- I reckon!

My phone rang. It was my mom’s call. I put on the call and within no time she started talking ‘hazaro gyans’.

“Take the towels.. more towels.. Take jacket, sweater, muffler.. Blah blah..  Don’t get wet much.. Nahole thanda lege jabe..” And all crap..

(p.s. “Nahole thanda lege jabe” means “or else, you will catch cold & cough” in Bengali)

“Relax mom! I’m not going for a long trip to any hill-stations. It’s just some remote place in Karnataka, somewhere in out skirted Bangalore.”

“So what! Thanda lege jabe..”

“Arree yaar! Okay, I’ll carry a big airbag full of winter wears.. Cool?”

“And carry some medicines also..”

“What?”

“Incase if you caught cold anyway, take medicines.. So that it would not go severe. Okay?”

I don’t understand what all mom wants out of us. First they will give you all the possible precautions which are exactly useless. And then they will give you the remedies guessing incase if you would stick, which is more than impossible.

And, I assured her I’ll be fine and will go accordingly and then dropped down the phone. The last words she was repeating till the last second was ~ “Dekho, thanda lagio na jeno!” (means, look after yourself properly, don’t catch cold!)

The greatest fear of any Bong Mom is ~ “Thanda lege jabe” (I reckon!)

I was just about to put off my butt out of the bed.. Suddenly, someone came infront ~ "Polu! Strawberry or Pine-apple???" 
"Whaaaat!" I asked.
"Which flavor to put... I'm confused?!"
"Means... what are you talking about?" I asked.
"Lip gloss.. Polu.. Lip gloss!"
Oh.. How can I forget about my shopaholic neighbor so suddenly! And before I could comment anything, somebody from back side said "Crane berry with a slight lime touch would be complimentary!"
Now this is the gal I missed... She is none other than... Ms. KFC (Sooo Good!)
She is the most self-obsessed (beauty obsessed actually) person I've ever known till.. And all these gals can do & talk is 'Shit-making!'

Hey! But don't dare to under estimate'em ever... They hold the 'supreme potential' to make the best shit out of you! Mind it!

"So, Ms. KFC! You're all ready huh?!" I asked her thinking I can actually make shit out of her.. Well.. And she replied me in some such way ~
"Of course, you moron! I don't take much time to clear my shit out!"  (metaphorical, guys relax!)
"Aaaa..... I think pine-apple tastes good!" I shifted my vector of conversation very embarrassingly! 
"Guys! The traveler (mini-bus) will just arrive within 15 minutes! Are you all ready??" ~ said by M(r)s. Manager..
You might be thinking who is this M(r)s. Manager??? And why the hell I'm addressing this lady as 'M(r)s.'..!!
For that, let me introduce to you 'a love story' in this context ~ 
This is a true 'childhood' love story.. Wao!
He is from Delhi.. She is from Ranchi.. 
Both of them met at one of their family's (common) relatives wedding ceremony at the age of 12 or 13.. And guess what! They fell in love with each other.. (hey, now don't blame them for this for being at such a small age, 'wedding ceremony' was the motivator!)
'Li'l love birds' are too hard to identify.. And too fast to catch! They're the perfect example of 'innocent hypocrites'.. (Isn't that cute?!)
They desperately bluffed almost everyone around.. Till it was the right time!
And, on one fine sunny day, they both got clicked with an idea to dramatize the entire stuff before their family! 
But..
It was a total bullshit! 
Why?!
 Coz, their all hardworking rehearsals went to vain!
Why?!
Coz, both of their family...... 'AgReeD'! (What crap! No family drama at all...) 
And.. And.. 
The saga continues.. From Delhi to Ranchi..  And now.. At Bangalore!!
And.. Why am I addressing'em as Managers..! It's not because:
- They're B-school students!
- Star Performers of our college!
- Or, just because it was out of my intuition!!
But.. because..
They were the initiators of this trip, organized well, made the proper budget, offered good and yummy (non-veg) food, perfect party entertainers.. And most interestingly.. Though they took the 'lead'.. But.. By just being our good old friends.. Just being 'themselves'! They 'are' good managers ~ I opine!

So.. Let's come back to the story I've started with.. 

While these gals were chit-chatting over some crap topics, viz., what is the price of lo'real's latest lip-gloss in the market, what are the new releases in Bollywood, how can one stop hair fall using  'mixture of hibiscus, lemon, curd & methi', how can one gain glowy skin using cucumber peels.. I, on the other side, was somehow managing to get ready! (God saves thy..)

"Guys.. I'm ready!" I said satisfied.
"Wao.. Congo.. Congo.." ~224 (remember?)
Suddenly, M(r)s. Manager shouted from the ground floor of the hostel, "The traveler is here.. Who wanna grab window seats?? Run!" 
And the race began..  It's no way possible for me to have one.. People more slimmer around got the best seats. And, I & 222 (the cylinders')  got the last row, middle seats.. 
We were 18.. And the traveler was 'fully fool'.. What else you can expect us to do! 
Only last 3 words..  Clutch.. Gear.. Accelerate.. GO!!
(to be continued...)

NeGoTiatioN Is nOt sO nEgotiAblE..!!

"Sales ~ the biggest art in the world! It is the profession of the elite.."  ~ I heard somebody saying... After a while, I realized, it was our Prof. !

The utmost beauty of being an MBA is that you'll know how to sleep in class with your eyes open! And that too without any formal training!

Why?!

As because, this skill is inevitable within.. and will automatically absorb you, once you're IN.. 

It was winter time..  Christmas was on the way! Who care about sales..?! All we were interested in negotiating, is exchanging gifts! We were actually in need of a sound allowance (i.e., the pocket money). So, attending 'negotiation skills' had became, one of the 'supreme' interest for us at that point of time..
  
We were attending the sessions on 'Sales' those days, and it was the 3rd class on 'the negotiation skills'. Usually, we had those classes from afternoon till night, say from 3:45pm till 8:30pm.. That day, it was around 9:00pm and we all were sitting in the big theatre (where we usually had seminars, workshops & other training programmes), eagerly waiting for that one last call ~ 'Let's call it a day!"

And..... Guess What!

Hike of uncertainty had prevailed upon.. "Let's have a classroom assignment!" ~ a tough tone 'roared-sarcastically' which literally meant that sleep went for a toss that night! 

I sensed ~ 'It's pay-back-time now!'

"Oh shit! Not again.." ~ (wait.. it's not the book!) somebody from back-side whispered. 

"Why this Kolaveri di!" ~ again someone whispered.

"And here we go! Take-out a new A4 sheet.. Recapitulate the conversation that you had last time with any of the authoritative figure of your college. And describe the negotiation that you had dealt with him/ her!

a) Describe the situation!
b) List all the persons involved (if any).
c) Determine the win-win proposition out of that..

And your time starts now!" ~ instructed by our Prof. (wearing an eagle's eye with a devil's smile!)

I sensed, the (sarcastic) smile was emphasizing on our glory to death (metaphorical)!

Oops! But I had always been a goody-foodie student.. So, it was tough for me to figure out what the holy crap I had literally done last time! I was almost lost in my thought.. Somehow I realized, the eagle-eyed stuck & glaring at me.. Oh no! Again that smile.. And I froze!

"What happen?" ~ said the eagle-eyed.
"I am.... no... I mean... ...."
"What?" he asked.
"No... nothing.. not like... anything!"

He might have thought 'what the crap!' and continued.. "So guys, if you think you had been a good girl/ boy through-out the journey till. Let's then assume the situation when you had last negotiation kinda stuff with your faculty/ colleagues/ seniors." and glared back ~ "Okay?"

Phew! Some relief!

And... I, the master weirdo! Started bullshitting on the paper. As, my definition of negotiation was, 'resolving fights/ conflicts'. And wrote about the last fight that had been resolved by me, with my neighbor (at hostel)!

Once again we proved that 'we're students' ~ the scorpion thing!

As our Prof. used to say ~ "Students' will be students'...", which literally means 'Scorpions will be scorpions!' And every time, we graciously admit that and proved so-forth. 

Guys! My concern to you all is not to increase my blog's readership. Here, the moot motto is to understand ~ 'Not' what is a negotiation! Instead, 'How' to negotiate to your problems without having a conflict! And, how negotiation is completely different from resolving conflicts.  

This is a very true fact that we always overview the 'problems' as well as 'opportunities' that comes to our daily way.. Why? As because, they are having very little impact on our life (for a time being).

And the worst tragedy is that we often get stuck/ freeze when something 'big' blocks our way! But isn't that the big picture of all tiny problems that we encounter everyday but overview. And how we deal with those problems? Either we freeze and walk away/ fight in a most deadly way that we can do/ escapism is the ultimate one!

Isn't the 3Fs' ~ a way of bargaining? Give it a thought..

Our fear is generated to death when we do bargain to the issue (problem). And why we bargain? Coz, of getting some 'quick' relief from the problem. Bargaining acts like a 'pain killer', but does it cures and heals for the ultimate relief ?? No. Then why to bargain??? Let's negotiate!!  (does this rings a bell!)

And how to negotiate? We all are having a very bad concept of 'negotiation'. We think that bargaining is an another form of negotiation & vice-versa. 

But.. The ground reality is ~ it's not!

Then what it is??? Let's find out...

Bargaining (y) = x 
('x' is an independent variable, right! And 'y' is a dependent variable... )

And..

Negotiation (y') = Σ(x₁+ x₂+ x₃+ ….. +x_n)

Yes! It's true.. Negotiation happens, when you starts adding more no. of independent variables that would complement the issue of negotiation. These independent variables are the projected benefits/ positive aspects that can add value to the issue. And hence can form solution(s). One thing needs to be very clear that there is 'no such perfect solution' in this world. It's all permutations & combinations! 

Negotiation is 'Permutation & Combination'... Isn't it?? And the living hell becomes less impactable when we start 'negotiating' every way.. So next time don't miss the maths classes.. You better be ready to crack the nutshells of your dad's argument when you'll come late at night.. Remember: it's negotiation then!